Live by the Orgasm! Die by the Orgasm!!

Once upon a time, I dated a girl who claimed she'd never experienced an orgasm before(this was not from lack of trying either). However, being the cool persona that I am, I took it all in my stride. Whilst I readily admit I was no maestro of the bedroom, I had a fair idea of my strengths(and weaknesses) and still confident that I would succeed where others before me had fallen short.

Before we got to the point of physical intimacy, she confessed that with her previous lover, the 'Big O' had become such an issue, that during sex she felt under intense pressure, and could never really relax. So with that in mind, I never broached the subject to her again. Of course I couldn't let the issue go so easily, but as usual, I was 'ice cold'.

As time passed and our relationship progressed, we'd often talk about our sexual likes and dislikes(after all, communication is the key). In the beginning, things were absolutely marvelous. I was a man on a mission. Foreplay was my middle name! We enjoyed several romps in all sorts of crazy locations. However, though I came close on a few occasions, I was never able to get to the finish line. After a while this started to bug me. As hard as I tried to ignore it, the elusive 'Big O' was starting to become a big issue to me. Of course I never told her! To tell her would be to admit defeat. I didn't want to be like the 'others'. Every man likes to feel he's special! That didn't change the fact that I was beginning to feel frustrated.

To a man, sex without an orgasm is about as worthwhile as a plane with no wings. If you can't fly, then what's the point?!?!?! Orgasms define a man' manhood not just by his ability to 'sow his seed', but also by his ability to please his female partner. He feels that by keeping his female partner satisfied, she is more likely to remain loyal. Loyalty is something that ALL men crave(whether they are willing to admit it or not)! Though many women have forever proclaimed that sex can be just as enjoyable and fulfilling without an orgasm, for most men, this is very difficult(if not damn impossible) to compute.

In my case, though she always told me that our sex-life was great and she had never felt so comfortable with her sexuality, it just wasn't enough. I could not let it rest. "It must be ignorance.". I reasoned(it's funny how hindsight reveals such great irony). "She only says it's fulfilling because she is yet to experience what the 'Big O' has to offer.". As my frustration grew, my ego started to implode. "How could she possibly appreciate my Herculean effort to please her?". Without the 'Big O', I felt like all my endeavors were in vain. I eventually cracked! I gave up the hunt. Foreplay slowly went out the window. Romp sessions got progressively shorter and more routine. Around that point, other chinks in our relationship were suddenly revealing themselves. In hindsight, I often wonder which precipitated the other, but I'll probably have greater success solving the 'chicken&egg debate' than figuring this out anytime soon.

So in the process of learning that I'm not as special as I thought I was (nothing like a piece of humble pie to brighten up your day), I did snippets of research into the science of the 'Big O'. What did I find out?? The female orgasm is as complex and mysterious to scientists as most women generally are to men (Hey presto! Didn't need a multi-million dollar grant to figure that out). More recently, Prof. Gert Holstege did some research in Copenhagen involving brains scans of men and women during an orgasm. The results seem to indicate that whilst the male orgasm is strongly linked to his level of physical stimulation, the female orgasm shows stronger links to her state of mind (like that's supposed to make me feel better. Once again scientists prove what we already know).

Anyways, this unusually long rant was triggered by a recent conversation with a date, who commented that as much as she enjoyed sex, she'd only ever experienced an orgasm on 3 separate occasions (I sure do pick them!). However, despite all the alarm bells and residual flashbacks, in the unlikely case that we ever progress as far as the bedroom, at least there's something to build on. And to be fair, that date was probably no worse than another date who boasted that her ex-BF made her cum 14 times in one session! Seems like a case of 'pick your poison'.....................

Interesting Article from the Sunday Observer!

A fascinating peek in to the world of blogging:
Just Popping Out - got to see a woman about a blog

Why am I disenchanted with Religion??

Before all my previous comments were eradicated, there was one particular comment which I particularly wanted to respond to:

"Re religion: what religions did you try and how did they disenchant you? I
think you have to be born into a religion to find it even remotely worthwhile.
From a non-religious perspective, all religions are absurd. Come to think of it,
that goes for therapists too...Cheers,Tiger"

I was actually raised as a Christian. My Mom's side of the family were Seventh Day Adventist. My Dad's side of the family were mainly Pentecostal. However, I usually ended up going to church on a Saturday. My experience with Christianity is similar to many folks I've met, who grew up in a Christian household. As a child, I simply had a blind belief. I was told that Christianity was right, and everybody was wrong. Those who believed, would make it to the promised land. Those who didn't believe would burn in hell forever! It wasn't till my latter teenage years that I started to question my beliefs, as did a lot of my peers whom I grew up with in the church. We all strayed from church at some point or another. Many eventually returned, but for others, like myself, that faith was never re-discovered.

So what happened to me? How did I miss the bus back? (Probably cause I was moving on black time, that's another matter entirely) The question that always burned in the back of my mind, was:

"If I was born into an Hindu family, for example, and raised in Hinduism with the
same blind faith that I had in Christianity, would my soul burn in hell forever,
merely because my gene pool placed me in the wrong religion?"

So I tried to imagine myself as an adult without a religious background, but who was interested in finding a spiritual faith. Where do you start? Christianity alone has over 26,000 denominations. With each religion claiming to be "The ONE", how do you choose? Bearing in mind that the wrong choice will ultimately lead to your eternal doom (obviously). I've questioned almost every religious person I know about their belief, and noticed that they tend to fall into 3 catergories:

1. They were raised in their particular faith and have held on to it blindly from the beginning, never straying from the pack.
2. They hold many doubts and questions about their faith, however they stick to the pack. For some it's been part of there culture and way of life for so long, they are happy to carry on regardless of their doubts. Some fear the retribution they may face from family and friends. Others appear to be waiting for some form of divine intervention that will answer their questions and solidify their faith.
3. They claim to have had a divine experience which proved to them, beyond all doubt, that their faith was not misguided.

I must admit, I've been part of the second group for years. Despite all my skepticism regarding the faith, I've always loved the social aspect of church. I love the way it unites people, creating an extended family. But that doesn't change the fact that I have several questions about Christianity that no-one in the church as been prepared to address(at least not to me). For example:

• In today's modern society, with people marrying much later in life, on average, than before, is it still a realistic objective for the church to advocate celibacy before marriage?
• Where does the line between culture and faith lie, and who decides where it lies? (For example, a couple of centuries ago pipe-organs were deemed to be instruments of the devil. Now you'll find a pipe-organ in a large proportion of churches)
• And what about those darn dinosaurs?? (Not that I'm a fan of Darwinians, however, at least they attempt to explain it, as opposed to sweeping it aside)

So where does that leave me? I am yet to witness my divine experience and I don't feel compelled to wait around for it. The more research I do, the more I keep asking myself:

"Was man made in God's image? Or was God made in man's image?"

The latter seems to hold more weighting with me at the moment, which would make me some form of atheist, by philosophical standards. However I refuse to believe that humans are the most advanced form of life in this universe. I always liken the human race to an ant colony in a forest. To an ant, that forest is its universe. There are things outside that universe that that ant will never comprehend (try explaining to an ant how the mechanics of the solar system affect the weather in the forest). And in much the same way, there are many things that happen in our universe, that we as humans will simply never comprehend.

Does this mean that I'm doomed? Who knows!?!? Time will tell. I still pray every so often (usually when I'm caught between a rock and a hard place). And every now and then I witness a co-incidence that would seem to indicate a greater force at work. Maybe I've had my divine experience and I just don't know it yet...........

Small Confession!!

My farts hospitalise little children!!

That's just great......

So I've just installed this "brilliant" piece of software on my blog. Wonderful isn't it!?!?!? Apart from the fact that I've now lost all the previous comments posted so far. T & C's! They're such a bitch. I'm glad I decided to do this now, and not months down the line. But that's life for you!

Lesson for today:

ALWAYS READ THE SMALL PRINT! IF YOU CAN'T FIND ANY, YOU OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T LOOK HARD ENOUGH.

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Why Blog??

Too disenchanted with religion! Can't afford a therapist! Read one too many self-help books! When a young, MTV generation 20something year old searching for a path/purpose in life seeks a method to assemble the jumbles of thoughts, emotions and opinions that wander through his mind, what does he do? He blogs!!

Writing personal diaries is just soooo 'last millenium'. Why write for yourself, when you can air your laundry to the world? Besides, they say writing is never really for the author. It's all the about the readers. Exactly who "they" are is about as plain as quantum physics.

Blogging can lead down any of two possible paths:

1. You realise that you're not as alone as you thought you were. There are others out-there who experience similar disjointed wavelengths as yourself.
2. As weird and unique as your thought patterns are, there's someone out there whose thoughts are even odder, darker, creepier, and/or more 'special' than your own.

Seems like a win-win situation, huh? What possible catch could there be? Time will tell all I guess. Because if there's one thing in life I'm certain of, it's that there's ALWAYS a catch!

Nothing is free in this free world!!!

The Trial Run

Mic test! 1,2! 1,2! Ladies and gentlemen, please be seated! The show is about to begin!